Out in the Dark Read online

  “Focus on the sound of my voice. Can you hear me?” She acknowledged him with a nearly imperceptible nod. “You are safe, the pictures in your head are someone else’s life. You are Shelley and you can close your mind to these images. Imagine big shutters coming down to block out the images.” Again he waited half a minute before going on. He could see her eyes starting to focus a little more and she blinked rapidly. All good signs. “Now take a slow deep breath in, hold it and now slowly let it out. Good.”

  Shelley could feel reality returning. She was still scared though and cold sweat ran down her back. What if this happened every time she met a soldier? Or someone else with traumatic experiences?

  “Better?” Jake asked and moved his hands to her shoulders. She was shaking when he pulled her close and hugged her. “You’ll learn to be selective and not get sucked in. This happens to newbies. It happened to me too in the beginning. Sometimes still does, but you build ways of dealing with it. You can do it. I know you can.” Jake gave her his father’s pep talk, but wondered if he had done the right thing in teaching her how to view. Not that she would have taken “no” for an answer, he had learned that much about her.

  “Thanks,” Shelley whispered into his shoulder. She was no longer shaking and gently pushed herself free from his hug. “I’ll have that coffee now.” She reached back and felt for her cup, holding it up for Jake.

  “Good. Eat something too. Your blood sugar’s probably low and that can mess you up pretty good.” He handed her the bag she’d seen earlier and found a yogurt with fruit in it. Now all she needed was a spoon.

  “You’ll have to get out of the car though, I need to jack it up so I can fix the lines.”

  Shelley grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself before climbing out of the car.

  Jake set to work, while Ted looked on for a while.

  “Where you two headed?” he asked Shelley. She did her best not to run screaming down the road, realizing he was not just that soldier she’d seen in his memories.

  “Reno,” she said.

  “I’ll bet you two are eloping. Am I right?” He grinned broadly and waggled a finger at her. “I can tell these things.”

  Shelley nodded sheepishly and figured it was a good enough cover story. She wasn’t going to even try to disabuse him.

  “Well, let me be the first to give you a wedding gift. It’s my lucky charm from the war, saved my life, I’m sure of it.” He pulled a chain from around his neck with a Star of David on it and tried to hand it to Shelley. She put up her hand and shook her head.

  “I can’t take that, that’s yours,” Shelley said. “It saved your life and might do so again. Really, we can’t take it.”

  “Sure you can. The old rabbi who gave it to my grandfather in WWII said it would save many people. I’m not a Jew, but I wore it with pride. It saved my granddaddy, my daddy and me. Now it can help you two. I’m done with war and I don’t need it anymore.” He again held it out to Shelley, who glanced quickly at Jake, but he was too busy under the car. His legs stuck out from under the front as he lay on the cold asphalt and worked to repair the damage.

  “Just take it, honey,” Jake said, playing along. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had a feeling that perhaps the charm would help them, even if they weren’t runaway lovers off to Reno to get married.

  “Thank you,” Shelley said and took the necklace from Ted. An odd sense of calm came over her and she managed to smile at Ted, her earlier fears and suspicions gone.

  “Good,” Ted grinned widely again. “I’ve passed on the charm, like I was supposed to. You two all set now? Need anything else, ’cause I got to get on with my plowing. The county doesn’t like it if the roads are covered in snow. Bad for business,” he said in a deep baritone voice, in imitation of some county executive.

  “We’re good. Thanks again!” Jake called out from under the car. “This fix should work great.”

  “Excellent.” And with that Ted jogged back to his truck and disappeared inside the cab. He started the engine, lowered the plow to the road again, and set off on his job.

  Shelley stood there watching him go, the necklace dangling from her hand and the cup of hot coffee in her other hand, her yogurt on the roof of the car where she had put it when she took the necklace.

  “What’s with you?” Jake said when he slid out from under the car. He reached for the jerrycan to add the fuel to the tank.

  “I don’t know,” Shelley answered, and she truly did not know. So far this whole road trip had been one mind-blowing experience after another and she just couldn’t process any more.

  The sun glinted off the small Star of David dangling from the chain. Shelley stood there looking at it, mesmerized by the sparkle. She did not even question why the old silver charm would sparkle as if it was brand new. She just stared at it and felt herself grow calmer.

  “Earth to Shelley?” Jake said, rubbing his hands clean in the snow. He snapped his fingers a few times and hoped she wasn’t stuck again in a viewing.

  She slowly turned to Jake and held up the necklace. “He gave us a lucky charm. Who should wear it?”

  “You, I suppose. He gave it to you didn’t he?”

  “Sure, but he thought you and I were a couple and the charm would protect us both,” Shelley said. She held out the necklace to Jake and added, “You’re in more danger, so I think you should wear it.”

  “No way, you wear it. You’ll need it more in life.” He didn’t know why he said that last bit, but he felt sure she would need all the help she could get.

  She took a sip of coffee and without argument slipped the necklace over her head, then stuffed it under her clothes. She nodded, took her yogurt and got back into the car and found a spoon in the glove compartment.

  Jake put away his tools and closed up the trunk. Now would come the moment of truth to see if his temporary fix would hold. He was also concerned about the battery. It had been a very cold night, the second one in a row, and he knew that could drain a battery faster than leaving the lights on. He quickly checked to make sure he hadn’t left the lights on overnight. If he had they would be stuck there until the next snow plow came by.

  Fortunately the lights were off.

  He said a silent prayer, the one his father always said before going on a mission, “Please God, don’t let me fuck up,” and turned the key in the ignition.

  Nothing.

  “Damn!”

  He pulled the key out and leaned back. What could he possibly have done wrong? Did he forget something or disconnect something?

  Shelley looked at him but said nothing. It didn’t take a mind reader to know how frustrated Jake was. He looked at her and sighed. He released the hood and got out of the car again to see if maybe he had missed something.

  He leaned his elbows on the edge of the car and peered across the engine. Everything looked like it was where it should be, but why would the car not start? There wasn’t even the tell-tale clicking sound of a dead battery. All the hoses and clamps were attached to the right connections. Why would the car not start?

  There was antifreeze in the coolant; he’d kept that up. The oil had been changed just a month ago. The engine was in top condition. All the hoses and wires were new and had been prepared for winter. There was no reason the car wouldn’t start.

  Except perhaps the fact that the battery connections were unhooked.

  Jake sheepishly reattached the connectors to the battery and closed the hood.

  “One more time,” he sighed.

  He turned the key and the car made some odd sputtering noises but then roared to life. Jake breathed a sigh of relief. Now to get over the snow pile created by the plow and resume their drive.

  Chapter 20

  Ted had done a great job clearing and salting the road. The car responded as if the road were only wet, which made the driving a cinch.

  Jake asked Shelley to pull his phone charger from the glove box and plug his phone into the cigarette lighter to charge. H
e wanted to look at James’s text again on where the nearest gas station was. A jerrycan of gas only gave him a few miles, twenty-two at the most if it was mostly downhill. The Pontiac was not the most fuel-efficient car ever made.

  “See if…” he started to say, but Shelley interrupted him.

  “Never mind,” Shelley said and pointed out the window at the derelict buildings of what might once have been a rest stop. The gas pumps looked ancient, with peeling paint and rusty exposed metal.

  “Great, just great,” Jake said, and gave another nervous glance at the gas gauge.

  “Want me to call your friend again? Maybe he can find another one,” Shelley offered, and picked up the phone.

  “He’ll be in class,” Jake said, somberly. “We might as well keep going and hope we find one.” He didn’t tell her that he wasn’t sure they had enough brake fluid in the lines to stop the car once they did find a gas station. The puddle under the car had told him that not all of the brake fluid had leaked out of the cut line, probably because of the cold. With any luck there would still be enough circulating. He had deliberately not looked at the reservoir; there were only so many problems he could deal with at one time.

  “Sandwich?” Shelley held out an unwrapped half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat.

  “Why not?” Jake took a big bite. It beat the MREs for sure. He was glad he had traded for real food.

  Road signs slid past but the view did not change much. The road climbed and fell, still following the contours of the landscape. Nothing held Jake’s attention nearly as much as the gas gauge. He couldn’t tell if it was moving or not.

  His phone beeped a message and he asked Shelley to check it. He didn’t want to take his eyes off the road or the gas gauge.

  “It’s from your mother. A text to say she’s staying up at the coach’s cabin, for safety.”

  “Damn. They have no business harassing her.” At least she would be safe up at the cabin. He knew where it was, a very secluded place that was hard to reach. But why with Coach? What would happen when he brought his father home? Surely she still loved Dad, didn’t she?

  “Have you thought of what we’ll do once we get to Reno?” Shelley asked.

  Though Jake had given it a lot of thought, he had no plan other than keeping Shelley out of it. “I’ll put you on a bus to Arizona and then I’ll go find my dad and rescue him.”

  “A bus?” Shelley cried indignantly. “No way. I’m in this with you…all the way.”

  “It’s not your beef. You’ve got your own things to take care of. Go to college.”

  “It is my ‘beef.’ You’re my ‘beef.’ I’m not leaving you,” she yelled at him, angry that he thought he could just toss her aside after what they had already been through. This was Shelley he was talking too, not Portia. Portia was used to being disposable, Shelley wasn’t.

  “Just keep your eyes open for a gas station. I’m not having a fight with you now. I need to get this car fixed properly, not with duct tape and spit,” Jake snapped at her.

  Shelley took a deep breath to let loose a torrent of words on Jake, but just then she spotted a gas station logo in the distance. It made no sense, but the sight of that logo made her deliriously happy and she cried, “Look! There!”

  “Thank God,” Jake said under his breath and sighed. Now even if the car ran out of gas he could jog over and refill the jerrycan.

  “I think this lucky charm really works!” Shelley’s mood suddenly changed and she chattered on excitedly about lucky charms and how Melvin had told her of his charm, the one he’d worn for years, and how it had gotten lost in the shower or something. Jake ignored her. He had a new worry to focus on now…the brakes!

  He wished his dad were there to tell him how to stop the car without working brakes, though he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

  The closer they got to the glowing orb of the Shell logo, the more nervous Jake got. Sweat started beading up on his forehead and he clenched his teeth. His hands were tight around the wheel. They certainly never covered any of this in Driver’s Ed.

  He let the engine slow down by taking his foot off the accelerator, hoping to coast in. It didn’t help that the station was at the bottom of a hill, so even without hitting the gas he was still going at a good speed; too fast if he didn’t have brakes. He didn’t even want to test them, but knew he should.

  Shelley was still chatting away, obviously relieved and oblivious to their new predicament.

  Jake tapped the brake lightly and found he had some power to slow down. So he tapped at regular intervals to slow the car. Maybe, just maybe, he could make it.

  “Throw the car into park if you have to,” a voice in his head said. It had to be his dad. But surely if he did that it would break something or strip a gear? Well, Jake figured if it was the choice between stripping a gear or ramming the car into a building, he would choose the gear. But only if he really had to. These were very finely machined gears and he didn’t want to have to try and fix them out here in the middle of nowhere.

  All these thoughts ran through his head, one after the other, and none of them truly helpful as he approached the moment when he would have to truly test the brakes.

  The off-ramp into the gas station sloped up and Jake started testing the brakes. He gave it more than a tap, placing his foot solidly on the pedal and pressing down, ever deeper. The car responded by slowing, but not enough. It didn’t feel like they were slowing enough to pull up to any of the pumps.

  Jake pressed harder and could feel the pedal getting softer. There was not enough resistance there. They wouldn’t make it. One more thing he could try to slow them down; he moved the car onto the grass strip. It sloped up steeper and the grass should provide more friction as well.

  “What are you doing?” Shelley cried out in alarm. She didn’t know about the brakes and thought Jake was losing control.

  “Trust me, it’s the only way,” Jake yelled back, pumping the brakes to get every last bit of power out of them. “No brakes, remember!”

  Shelley looked around frantically for something to hold on to. The car was not equipped with much in the way of modern safety features and Shelley doubted the seat belt would do much to protect her. She held onto the door handle and closed her eyes, but then she opened them again, wanting to see the danger coming.

  A bump made them both lift off their seats briefly, and Shelley felt the necklace charm bounce against her skin. Oddly, it made her relax. She felt a serenity come over her that defied the situation.

  Meanwhile, Jake felt little of that calm, and continued to wrestle with the car. He drove in a zig-zag pattern on the grass, knowing he was doing considerable damage to the grass under the snow, but it helped to slow him down. By the time he ran out of grass they were at a more manageable speed and he felt there might be enough power left in the brakes to stop. He slalomed around all the pumps to lose more speed and finally, with his foot still on the brake, he crawled into the bay nearest the convenience store. He pressed down as hard as he could and deployed the hand brake as well. The car slowed further and finally stopped against the stretched-out hose. It was a very thick hose and acted as a bumper when the front tires hit it. Whoever had spread it was a genius.

  “You all right, kid?” a wheezing old man asked. He was standing on the curb in front of the store, and a young assistant, also in mechanic’s overalls, next to him.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Jake said as he rolled down the window. “My brakes…” He wasn’t sure what to say about them and left it at that. He put the car in park and climbed out. His knees were a bit wobbly, but at least he hadn’t crashed the car.

  Shelley joined him and asked for the bathrooms, taking off quickly in the indicated direction.

  “We saw you coming in hot, kid, stretched out the hose. You looked like you knew what you were doin’ so I figured you’d end up here and we pulled the hose out. Glad to see it worked,” the old man said in his gravelly voice, ending in a phlegmatic cough.

  Jake nod
ded and waited for his knees to become stable again before answering.

  “Any chance I could pull into that bay and fix my brakes?” he asked. “I’m a mechanic.”

  “Sure.” The old man pointed toward a small repair bay next to the convenience store. “Tommy can help. Maybe you can teach him something while you’re at it. He’s got all these fancy certificates, but doesn’t know how to strip a carburetor. How’d your brakes go out anyway?” Suddenly the man gave Jake a suspicious look, narrowing his eyes.

  “Line got cut…somehow. Not sure. I taped it back together but there wasn’t much fluid left.” Jake tried to sound casual about it, but even to him the story seemed fishy. “Could have fused my brakes, I suppose.” He tried to chuckle but the sound wouldn’t quite leave his throat.

  “Could’ve called us, we could’ve towed you,” the old man said in an accusatory tone.

  “Cellphone battery ran down; couldn’t call. I chose to just limp in and hope I wouldn’t do more damage,” Jake said. He felt like a little kid who was being chastised for having done something wrong.

  “Got your own tools, or do you need to use ours? Will have to charge you, you know.”

  “I think I can manage with my own tools,” Jake said tersely, and got back into the car. He was going to very slowly roll the car into the bay and up onto the lift.

  Out of the corner of his eye he saw the old man shove Tommy in his direction, presumably to help him.

  He got the car up onto the lift and was able take a proper look underneath. The damage was minimal and all he would need were some proper line connectors and new fluids, as well as a full tank of gas.

  “Hey,” Jake heard Tommy saying in a loud whisper. “Hey, can you hear me?”

  “Yes, I can hear you fine. If you want to whisper you might want to get in here and get under the car.” Jake knew he sounded impatient and probably should be a little more forthcoming considering these folks had helped stop the car, but he just couldn’t muster up the kindness. Something about the spotless garage and the quasi-helpful attitude rubbed him the wrong way. There was something odd about the place.